


Barking Up a Pussy in the Wrong Tree with the Right Piece of Wood

by MistyBeethoven



Series: To Be Ortiz Not to Be... [5]
Category: Freaked! (1993)
Genre: BBW, Catboys & Catgirls, Dogboys & Doggirls, F/M, Kissing, Love, Love Stories, Opposites Attract, Overweight, Rescue, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Sex, Tree Sex, Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23397391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: When Ortiz mistakes me for a regular cat, he chases me up a tree in our backyard. However, Ortiz forgoes his rescue mission when he catches a glimpse up my dress and decides to add his own bit of wood to the trees already plentiful branches!
Relationships: Ortiz the Dog Boy/Me
Series: To Be Ortiz Not to Be... [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602931
Kudos: 6





	Barking Up a Pussy in the Wrong Tree with the Right Piece of Wood

Ortiz was out walking himself and I was alone in the backyard stalking birds. Ever since my abduction by Elijah C. Skuggs, when he had used the freak making Zygrot to turn me into a Cat Girl, my Dog Boy was reluctant to let me take him out for a walk.

"There is no _dignity_ in it!" Ortiz protested this last time when I had attempted to. "A cat out walking a dog! Everybody knows that dogs are naturally superior to cats!"

I had placed my paws on my hips, claws coming out, looked at my lover through green slanted and slitted eyes and let out a brief hiss. Now, it seemed, simple battles of the sexes had been compounded with dog versus cat arguments as well.

"Oh no, no Erin," Ortiz extended his own paws and waved them to and fro frantically. "Ortiz did not mean that as it sounded! It's just...just...I have not bought for you a license yet and fear the pound picking you up. You are such a fine, female, feline specimen I dread them sticking you in with bad, nasty Tom cats."

I rolled my eyes and allowed my Dog Boy his little faux pas and hasty save. Besides, being a chonky cat, I was always very flattered whenever Ortiz declared and demonstrated his obviously genuine appreciation and love for me enough to forgive his occassionally sexist and speciesist ways.

We shared a few kisses and Ortis went off to walk himself and mark his territory on a hydrant or two.

We both had been waiting to hear back from Ortiz's friend Ricky Coogan to see if he had more Zygrot cure available. Then both Ortiz and myself would be human again. Coogan was in the middle of a book tour and it had been difficult to reach the man himself and not just his agent, whom automatically demanded 10% of every phone call.

Meanwhile, as I awaited my mate's return, I was pouncing on birds in the backyard. I never actually ate them, my Girl nature overpowering my Cat one. But it was fun to lower my plump, dress wearing body to the ground and then propel it suddenly forward on an unsuspecting robin and grab it. Equally as fun as letting the bird go and watching it fly off both grateful and confused by my unfeline like benevolence.

I had just missed out on getting a chickadee, staring up at it as it mocked me from a high branch in the apple tree in the backyard, when I suddenly heard the barks of a dog coming near me and in severe fright hightailed it up the tree myself. This scared the chickadee in return and it flew off as I parked my fat ass on the limb where it had been sitting. I peered down from my new perch to find my Dog Boy husband barking up at me enthusiastically.

"Ortiz!" I shouted down at him.

"Erin!" Ortiz said. "What are you doing up in that tree?"

"You chased me up here!" this Cat Girl exclaimed in a huff.

"Oh," the Man Dog said and looked suddenly mortified. "I am so sorry, Erin! Ortiz thought you were a regular cat and his instincts took over!"

I sighed. Normally I quite enjoyed when Ortiz's animal instincts took over. They had provided innumerable hours of pleasure and amusement. However, staring at my husband on the ground, and looking a very long fall away, I regretted that my own kitty cat instincts had led me to climbing the tree. As I was quickly realizng, it was far easier getting up the dumb thing than it would be getting _down_ it.

Still my Dog Boy urged, "Please come down now, Erin. Ortiz is done his walk and does not desire to walk another dog, so to speak. Making love to you is next on the itinerary."

I squirmed on the tree limb. "I'm afraid of heights, Ortiz! I don't know how to get down!"

"Arf!" my husband barked and held out his hands. "I will catch you!"

"I will kill you!" I said, fearing if he did my weight would be too much for him. "I can't do that!"

"How about a ladder?"

"I leant mine to a friend ages ago and they never gave it back. Please phone the fire department."

"No," Ortiz said folding his arms and pouting up at me. "If anyone rescues you it shall be _me_!"

He pounded his chest with his left paw as he proclaimed this and I watched in confusion as Ortiz then strolled up to the tree trunk, unzipped his camouflaged pants, raised his leg and started to pee on it.

"What are you _doing_?" I asked in shock. I knew that it was what dogs normally did and had often witnessed him do it several times but now hardly seemed the time or the place.

Only Ortiz seemed to think that it was.

"Now this is _doubly_ Ortiz's territory because you are in it, Erin!" he said with a victorious laugh. 

I didn't object, being kind of flattered.

Finished he walked back over to where I stood. Swinging my chubby legs back and forth in agitation, I saw Ortiz's eyes go to the place between my legs and widen as he took in the fact that I was not wearing any underwear.

My poor puppy started to whimper as he stared at the crotch he was intimately familiar with.

"Are you okay, Ortiz?" I asked, forgetting my own plight and more concerned about his sudden obvious pain.

"Erin!" he yelped. "You are in the tree! My pussy is in the tree! Ortiz is down here but his pussy is in the tree!"

I could see the Dog Boy's excitement boldly peeking out of the fly he had forgotten to zip up.

"Oh Ortiz!" I cried and tried to move a little forward.

This allowed the Man Canine an even better glimpse under my skirt and I viewed in amazement my Ortiz losing all of his self control as he swiftly scaled the tree trunk, backed me down on the limb where I was sitting and eyed me like I was a juicy T-Bone steak he wanted to devour.

Speaking of bones, one was on marvelous display before me.

"Ortiz!" I exclaimed as he hovered over me sexy and threatening. "Do you really think we should do this up in a tree?" For it seemed that Ortiz was prepared to declare and demonstrate his appreciation and love for me again right there and then.

"Why not?" he growled at me naughtily. "That silly capitalist song says we should be k-i-s-s-i-ng also!"

He bestowed on me then a hungry kiss which left me trying to catch my breath when we had separated.

"Besides!" he declared, "I have only brought with me just another piece of wood!"

I gazed up at him with coy eyes. Purring I grabbed the referenced item, making the Dog Boy ruff at me excitedly. " _This_ could never be just _another_ piece of wood. For me it is the greatest piece of wood in the universe!"

"Er-Er-Erin!" he cried out as his sap started to leak out.

Howling in lust, Ortiz proceeded to make this pussy very happy by sharing his wonderful wood with me up in the tree as we did _far_ more than just kiss up in its leafy branches. Although in his excitement he did nip my neck now and then.

Barking and meowing as we were, we missed out on two very important sounds though.

The first of which was that the branch that we were on was cracking from the conjoined weight of both Ortiz and I; hastened by the fact that he was vigorously barking me on it.

The second was that a person had come to stand under the tree and watch us in stupefied silence.

We found out both of these eventually, however, as the branch finally broke and we landed straight on our voyeur, Ricky Coogan, who was too stunned to get out of the way.

The _good_ news was that we didn't kill him.

The _bad_ news was that the macaroons he was holding with the Zygrot cure crumbled to smithereens in his hands.

But neither Ortiz nor myself minded too much: Ortiz's bark is just as good as his bite and I had been enjoying both of those too much to find myself crying over some crushed confectionary.


End file.
